Valentine's Day - Signs You Love Your Cat
By: Tippy & Alfred
You know you are a cat lover when...
1. My cat loves to be scratched, and hugged. He demands it,
even if it's in the middle of the night. And I get up to hug
him... That's a cat-lover, isn't it?
2. You feed them Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner on the
good china.
3. Your dog coughs up cat hairballs.
4. You take your cat everywhere with you and leave the car
on so fluffy can get some a/c and so she can listen to the
radio.
5. You take your cat everywhere because you..., I mean *she*
gets separation anxiety.
6. You yell at Snookums for talking too much.
7. You apologize for yellin' at your darlin' and tell her
you didn't mean it and tell her she can scream if she wants.
8. You are done crying so you go get a towel to dry the
tears off of her fur to make her happy.
9. Your cat scratches the heck out of you and your family,
you say, "It's just a phase she's going through."
10. Your cat rips off the wallpaper, you take her to a cat
psychotherapist to discover what is upsetting her and
causing her disruptive behavior.
11. You have full conversations with your cats and you think
it's normal.
12. You think that your cat understands you and communicates
back.
13. You have more cat toys than clothes.
14. When you wear black people think that you're shedding.
15. You get a fish tank and fish as pets for your cat.
16. You take more pictures of your cat then you do of your
children.
17. Your cat eats the most expensive cat food available, but
you subsist on macaroni and cheese and ramen noodles.
18. You refer to your parents as "Grandma" and "Grandpa",
but you have no children.
19. You force everyone who phones your house to listen to
Snookums meow into the receiver.
20. Your cat has more names than you do.
21. You still kiss your boyfriend after he lets kitty drink
the milk while he eats the cereal.
22. Someone else yells at your cat for being bad and you
say, "Be nice... she's only human."
23. Your way of punishing your cat for bad behavior is a
"Time Out" in the bathroom after explaining that she has
been a very bad kitty for tearing up your stuff.
24. You spend a date telling your date all about your cats
and not one thing about yourself.
25. Each one of your cats gets spoken to in their own
individual "special voice".
26. You call your own answering machine just so that the
cats can hear your voice.
27. You post pictures of your cat on your web page.
28. You cough up hairballs daily too.
29. Your cat has more say than your spouse.
30. You write poems about your cat.
31. Your cat sleeps in your bed.
32. You sleep on one edge of the bed because the cat is
sleeping in the middle looking *sooo* cute!
33. You don't need an alarm clock, because your cat wakes
you up before the alarm clock goes off, and you brag about
it.
34. You can eat after your cat. (For all non-cat lovers, it
does happen.)
35. You've stopped wondering where all the cat hairs that
appear on your clothes could possibly come from.
36. You've stopped caring about the amount of fur on your
clothing when you go out in public.
37. You apologize when you step on a fuzzy cat toy in the
dark.
38. You snap your fingers and pat the sofa beside you to
invite your guests to sit down.
39. You accidentally put your child's dinner plate on the
floor.
40. You spend more money on toys for your cats than on the
grandkids.
41. You decorate your Christmas tree with dangly cat toys.
42. Your neighbors refer to you as "the crazy one with all
the cats".
43. You have more pictures of your cats than your kids in
your wallet.
44. You refer to your cat as your furry child.
45. Your parents wind up with a four-footed, furry
"grandchild".
46. You you plan your vacation around the cat show schedule.
47. You accidentally call your spouse by your cat's name!
48. You tell your guests to vacate an armchair when your cat
walks into the room.
49. You set a place at the dinner table for your cat.
50. You have a set of towels with "His", "Hers", and
"Kitty's".
51. You and kitty have matching outfits.
52. You never go to the door unless it's to let a cat out.
53. Your favorite friends have fleas.
54. You think cat fur makes a wonderful garnish to any meal.
55. You own 14 varieties of kitty-nail-clippers.
56. You are quickly lost for conversation with non-cat
people.
57. You meow so well, you confuse the cats.
58. You bore the neighbors with discussions on the exact
nutritional differences between 9-Lives and Whiskas ... at
length.
59. Your younger sister has a heart to heart with you about
the attention you give your cat.
60. You explain to your sister that when the cat pees on her
in bed it's because it's jealous of her and she should pay
it more attention.
61. You remind your self daily that cats are to be
worshipped and any body who doesn't think so should live on
Mars.
- Anonymous
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