Wrapping Christmas Presents with a Cat
Have you ever tried wrapping Christmas presents with your
cat in the room? If not, here's what you have probably
missed:
1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.
2. Go to closet containing unwrapped present and collect bag
containing present, and shut closet door.
3. Open closet door and remove cat from closet.
4. Retrieve slipper from cat and replace in closet.
4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.
5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.
6. Go to drawer, and collect transparent sticky tape,
ribbons, scissors, labels, etc. . . .
7. Lay out presents and wrapping materials on table, to
enable wrapping strategy to be formed.
8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been
in the drawer since last visit and collect string.
9. Remove present from bag.
10. Remove cat from bag.
11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace
present.
12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.
13. Try and smooth out paper, realize cat is underneath and
remove cat.
14. Cut the paper to size, keeping the cutting line
straight.
15. Throw away first sheet as cat chased the scissors, and
tore the paper.
16. Cut second sheet of paper to size - by putting cat in
the bag the present came in.
17. Place present on paper.
18. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why
edges don't reach. Realize cat is between present and paper.
Remove cat.
19. Place object on paper, to hold in place while tearing
transparent sticky tape.
20. Spend 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent
sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.
21. Seal paper with sticky tape, making corners as neat as
possible.
22. Look for roll of ribbon. Chase cat down hall in order to
retrieve ribbon.
23. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional
turn.
24. Re-roll ribbon and remove paper, which is now torn due
to cat's enthusiastic ribbon chase.
25. Repeat steps 13-20 until you reach last sheet of paper.
26. Decide to skip steps 13-17 in order to save time and
reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old
cardboard box that is the right size for sheet of paper.
27. Put present in box, and tie down with string.
28. Remove string, open box and remove cat.
29. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head
for locked room.
30. Once inside lockable room, lock door and start to relay
out paper and materials.
31. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door,
close and relock.
32. Repeat previous step as often as is necessary (until you
can hear cat from outside door)
33. Lay out last sheet of paper. (This will be difficult in
the small area of the toilet, but do your best)
34. Discover cat has already torn paper. Unlock door, go out
and hunt through various cupboards, looking for sheet of
last year's paper. Remember that you haven't got any left
because cat helped with this last year as well.
35. Return to lockable room, lock door, and sit on toilet
and try to make torn sheet of paper look presentable.
36. Seal box, wrap with paper and repair by very carefully
sealing with sticky tape. Tie up with ribbon and decorate
with bows to hide worst areas.
37. Label. Sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulate
yourself on completing a difficult job.
38. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed
cat.
39. Spend 15 minutes looking for cat until coming to obvious
conclusion.
40. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.
41. Go to store and buy a gift bag.
Back To:
All About Santa and
Christmas
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