Sally Brown Mangles the English Language

Sally Brown is Charlie Brown's little sister from the comic strip
Peanuts. She was born on May 25, 1959 (in the sense of being
mentioned for the first time). Sally first appeared in the strip on
August 23 of the same year. She is madly in love with Linus van
Pelt, and wants to become a housewife when she grows up.

While Sally was a baby for much of the early 1960's, she entered
school in the seventies, and thus sprang her major gimmick in the
strip: mangling the English language!

The following quotes are taken from the Peanuts FAQ, and appeared in the strip between 1969 and 1986:


My favorite piece is Bach's Toccata and Fugue in Asia Minor.
Did you know there are sixteen ozzes in a lib?

The stockings were hung by the chimney with hope that
Jack Nicklaus soon would be there.

Abraham Lincoln was our sixteenth king, and the father of Lot's

Haven't you heard? This is the age of Aquariums.

Columbus Day was a very brave man. He wanted to sail around the
world. 'I can give you three ships, Mr. Day,' said the Queen.

Two times two is tooty-two; three times three is threety-three;
four times four is four-forty-four.

I have to do a paper on Ken and Abel. I've been looking all
through the Old Testament, and I've found Abel, but I can't find
Ken. Do you think maybe I'm using the wrong translation?

Maybe we'll get to see Ramona Lisa.

I'm writing a story about some cave men. They're sitting around a
campfire, see, when all of a sudden they're attacked by a huge

Family life among the Egyptians was easier than it is today...
they were all facing the same way.

The Incas were people who lived a long time ago in Incaland. They
had a highly developed civilization. They would still be here
today, but they lacked motel facilities.

Sheepherders raise lambs, from which we get lamb chops.
They also raise sheep, from which we get sheep chops.

This report is on melons. Melons have to be planted between May
15th and June 5th. I don't know what you do if you happen to be
out of town.

Our wild life and our trees are protected by brave and dedicated
men. These men live by themselves in towers, and are called
Forest Strangers.

I could write about how exciting it is when the grape boats come
sailing into the arbor.

The largest dinosaur that ever lived was the Bronchitis. It soon
became coughed a lot.

Ten milligrams equals one centigram...ten decigrams equals one
gram...ten grams equals one grampa.

He was a very rich cowboy. He had a car and a horse. He kept his
car in the carport, and he kept his horse in the horseport.

Butterflies are free. What does this mean? It means you can have
all of them you want.

Who is the leader of these vandals? I will tell you: they are
encouraged by Evandalists.

This is my report on rain. Rain is water which does not come out
of faucets...after a storm, the rain goes down the drain, which
is where I sometimes feel my education is also going.

Ancient Greece was ahead of its time, and before our time. They
had no TV, but they had lots of philosophers. I, personally,
would not want to sit all evening watching a philosopher.

"History of France: A Report on Cardinal Rishhalleouoooo"

Today is the observance of Washington's birthday. Actually, his
real birthday is not until this Saturday. There is a reason for
this. He could not wait to open his presents.

When writing about church history, we have to go back to the very
beginning. Our pastor was born in 1930.

I'm going to try to sign up for a course in theology...I want to
learn all about religion. I want to learn about Moses, and St.
Paul, and Minneapolis.

I don't care anything about past participles; they don't interest
me. How about present-day participles?

Light travels at a speed of 186,000 miles per why are
afternoons so long?

Some people are right-handed...some people are left-handed...some
people are able to use both hands with equal ease. Such people
are called handbidextrous.

When did Mark Twain write Tom Sawyer? "If I know him,
probably in the evenings."

You know where King David wrote his psalms? Under a psalm tree!

Sir Walter Scott's most famous novel was Ivanhohoho. King
Tiglath-Pileser of Assyria conquered many nations, and carried
off their booty... this meant that none of the little babies had
any booties.

I'm writing a story for school. It's all about Santa Claus and
his rain gear.

This is the classic story of Peter Rabbit and his coat of many
colors. Wait until tomorrow, when I recite another classic, The
Owl and the Fussy Cat.

I'm drawing a cow, but I'm having trouble with the hoofseses.

The sea is a body of water that would like to be an ocean.

This is my report on Halley's Comma. It's a very famous comma --
he probably wrote home a lot.

There are seven continents: Africa, Asia, Australia, Europe,
North America, South America, and Aunt Arctica.

Britain was invaded in the year 43 by Roman numerals.

The farmer had a large house and a big red barn. Behind the barn
the farmer had a pastor.

He was a very arrogant cowboy -- he would only ride on pompous

The recreation room had a huge brick fireplace. The walls were
covered with naughty pine.

"Tess of the d'Urbervilles, by Laural N. Hardy"

Maybe it was something Moses said, or something from the
Book of Reevaluation.

ALL PEANUTS CHARACTERS Copyright United Features Syndicate, Inc

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