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Fun and Amusing Jokes

about Turtles to

make you Laugh

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A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree.
With a deep sigh he started to climb.

About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and
walked along to the end. He turned -spread out all four
flippers and launched himself off the branch.

With a thud he landed at the bottom - luckily on a pile of
soft, dead leaves. He shook himself off, walked back to the
bottom of the tree and bravely began to climb again.

One hour later, he again reached the very high branch,
walked along, turned, spread his flippers and flung himself
off the branch.

Again, he landed on the bottom, shook himself off, went to
the bottom of the tree, sighed and started climbing.

Watching these proceedings from the end of the branch were
two little birds.

Mummy bird turned to Daddy bird and said, "Don't you think
it's time we told him he was adopted?"


Turtle Time

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was
mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to
investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what
happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused
look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened
so fast."


Two turtles crossing the road hit each other head on and
were both knocked unconscious. The policeman who was
summoned to investigate the accident tried to find a
witness, but only found a snail nearby. "Did you see the
accident?" the officer asked. "Can you tell me what
happened?" "Yes I saw it" replied the snail, "but it all
happened so fast !"


A legend about turtles:

An English philosopher was visiting India, and was
introduced to a holy man. The philosopher asked the Holy Man
the nature of the world, and the old man replied, "Oh the
world is a great big ball that sits on the great flat back
of the Great World Turtle."

The Englishman of course asked "What does the turtle stand

The seer replied "Why on the back of an even larger turtle
of course!"

Then the Englishman asked "and what does THIS turtle stand

The old man shook his head and sweetly smiled and said "it
is no use my son, it is turtles all the way down!"

Stuffed Plush Turtles Proven to Create Good times

Turtle Keeper

Martin was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down
a job. After a visit to the job centre he was offered work
at the local zoo. When he arrived for his first day, the
keeper, aware of his reputation, told him to take care of
the tortoise section.

Later, the keeper dropped by to see how Martin was getting
on and found him standing by an empty enclosure.

"Where are the tortoises?" he asked him.

"I can't believe it" said Martin "I just opened the door and


Q: What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the
turtle's back?

A: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Stuffed Plush Tortoise

Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on
a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had
forgotten the soda.

The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they
wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back.

A week went by, then a month, finally a year, and finally
one turtle said, "Oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches."

Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and
said, "If you do, I won't go!"

Delightful Turtle Calendars

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