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Peppy Pets Daily
April 14, 2003
A Dog's Reminder To Himself
1. The mailman and garbage collector are not stealing our stuff.
2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when
I'm lying under the coffee table.
3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa
or under the bed.
4. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
5. I will not eat the cats' food, before they eat it
or after they throw it up.
6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean
carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.
7. I will not throw up in the car.
8. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because
I like the way they smell.
9. "Kitty box crunchies", although they are tasty, are not food.
10. I will not eat any more Kleenex, napkins or newspapers and
then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
11. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
12. I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones,
or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window
rolled down ...when it's raining outside.
15. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time
I hear one on TV.
16. I will not steal my mom's underwear and dance all
over the backyard with them.
17. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are mom & dad's laps.
18. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
19. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for
mom's drivers license and car registration.
20. I will not play tug-of-war with dad's underwear when
he's on the toilet.
21. I will not eat mint flavored dental floss out of the bathroom
garbage and walk around with a string hanging out of my butt.
22. I will not use "roll around in the dirt" as an option after
just getting a bath.
23. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable
way of saying hello.
24. I will not hump on any person's leg just because I thought it
was the right thing to do.
25. I will not fart in my owners face while sleeping on the pillow
next to their head.
26. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt
across the carpet.
27. The toilet bowl is not a never ending water supply and, just
because the water is blue, it doesn't mean it is cleaner.
28. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my
crotch when company is over.
29. Suddenly turning around and smelling my butt can quickly
clear a room.
30. The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him and he
makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
HAVE A GREAT DAY!
...the dog's trying, right?
Sent in by reader: Marilyn Pace-Westbrook
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Dr. Jane Bicks Talks About Your Pet's Health
Listen online to one of America's foremost experts on pet
nutrition as she talks about pet foods and your pet's health.
Surf on over here to listen
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For the Birds
A barbecue brush with metal bristles and a sharp metal strip
across the top of it can make an excellent perch cleaner.
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